Dragonsmaw Daily | 3
By Lancelot Schaubert• Judges 9:7–21
FANCY FEAST has returned to Dragonsmaw! The envy of the last generation of shippers and trainsmen has allegedly returned to Dragonsmaw. Thirty-five years ago, Fancy Feast came to Dragons- maw tagging onto the caboose of a threshold rail en route from Earth. The first arrival of Fancy Feast in Dragonsmaw brought with it a whole circus, parade, and carnival in its wake. The fair featured odd animals such as the “cow,” a domesticated meat supply, strange-yet-simple technology such as the “carribeaner,” a way of securing one’s self during a mountain climbing expedition, and fine art such as the “lava lamp,” a jar of paraffin wax and carbon tetrachloride that, when lit, resembles the radio-active lava we find in our mountains but cannot keep in our homes.
Author Lancelot Schaubert offers the final release from his inventive three-part mini-series, presented as a small newspaper in response to a collection of Scripture passages.
This section focuses on the theme of "kings" as found in Judges 9:7-21 in addition to a summation of the series.
As with most shared newspapers, some of the pages have been pulled out and are out of order, so you will have to piece them together as the project is released. You may find the other parts of the project at Dragonsmaw Daily | 1 and Dragonsmaw Daily | 2.
You may also view the entirety of the project, here — as a brand new newspaper.
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7 ¶ And when they told it to Jotham, he went and stood in the top of mount Gerizim, and lifted up his voice, and cried, and said unto them, Hearken unto me, ye men of Shechem, that God may hearken unto you. 8 The trees went forth on a time to anoint a king over them; and they said unto the olive tree, Reign thou over us. 9 But the olive tree said unto them, Should I leave my fatness, wherewith by me they honour God and man, and go to be promoted over the trees? 10 And the trees said to the fig tree, Come thou, and reign over us. 11 But the fig tree said unto them, Should I forsake my sweetness, and my good fruit, and go to be promoted over the trees? 12 Then said the trees unto the vine, Come thou, and reign over us. 13 And the vine said unto them, Should I leave my wine, which cheereth God and man, and go to be promoted over the trees? 14 Then said all the trees unto the bramble, Come thou, and reign over us. 15 And the bramble said unto the trees, If in truth ye anoint me king over you, then come and put your trust in my shadow: and if not, let fire come out of the bramble, and devour the cedars of Lebanon. 16 Now therefore, if ye have done truly and sincerely, in that ye have made Abimelech king, and if ye have dealt well with Jerubbaal and his house, and have done unto him according to the deserving of his hands; 17 (For my father fought for you, and adventured his life far, and delivered you out of the hand of Midian: 18 And ye are risen up against my father’s house this day, and have slain his sons, threescore and ten persons, upon one stone, and have made Abimelech, the son of his maidservant, king over the men of Shechem, because he is your brother;) 19 If ye then have dealt truly and sincerely with Jerubbaal and with his house this day, then rejoice ye in Abimelech, and let him also rejoice in you: 20 But if not, let fire come out from Abimelech, and devour the men of Shechem, and the house of Millo; and let fire come out from the men of Shechem, and from the house of Millo, and devour Abimelech. 21 And Jotham ran away, and fled, and went to Beer, and dwelt there, for fear of Abimelech his brother.
I wanted to literalize the story of the trees electing a king, so I featured some of the tree creatures of Gergia and their recent conclave to elect a new Woodward. I think you'll find that the sort of thing spoken of in Judges is quite literal in Gergia.
The Dragonsmaw daily is a paper circulating on LOMEDAY of the month of BLAGUROEDD 47 in the year 1109 P.T. on Gergia, one of the Vale Universe (short story series here). It may seem like a high-shelf sort of entry for the average reader, something that takes a herculean effort to embrace in terms of the suspension of disbelief or secondary belief in my created world. However, I think it's quite easy: if you'll trust me, it'll read as a wonderfully foreign paper from a wonderfully foreign world. It's ephemera: something like an in-world artifact I happened to pick up from a newsboy who was hawking EXTRA EXTRA EXTRA copies in order to have enough ₮ to get his sister through the week on an onion (actually it's more like a leek) based soup. She beat the fever, in case you were wondering. But I brought it back from Gergia and gave it to my friends at Spark and Echo that it might supplement the stories I've written here and elsewhere about these fantastic worlds I travel so frequently.
For those that have followed along in any capacity, this paper tells of events taking place prior to the events in the Moon Boys series from my artist residency and quite far in the past from the other commissions here at Spark and Echo. It occupies the region around the Imperial Crescent in Gergia (top left of the main land mass on that false map I drew of the world). Each of the events recorded in this paper feature major workings in the region. All together I wanted to bind up the themes of extinction, of power dynamics, and of being lost and found into one piece. So I stitched together three commissions in a more unified form than normal. Of course some parts of the paper will remain out of reach for some time — like any foreign country, Gergian customs and economics and politics only make sense after you've lived there for quite some time. But one day the times, dates, seasons, and currency will make perfect sense to you. And then the dread realization of what the paper really reveals will come all too clear, as clear as a Bell Hammer.
Born and raised in Southern Illinois amid four generations of carpenters (and named either after Lancelot the knight or Lancelot the soap opera character, depending on which parent you ask), I moved to Joplin, Missouri for college where I did internships in San Diego among young artists and in Detroit — Dearborn — where I taught English and citizenship to Arab immigrants. I auditioned for some TV shows, helped internationals feel at home, and started an artist support group with Mark Neuenschwander, the photographer.
In college, I majored in rhetoric and minored in mythology and ancient literature. Somewhere in there, I fumbled along trying to woo the grooviest girl in the world to marry me. She was from Ferguson, Missouri.
Now, we live in New York City. In addition to writing and producing, I work for ACT International helping artists in the city think cleverer, feel deeper, and act truer. Sometimes I give them grants to jumpstart their careers. Most of the time I just cook them food, let them crash at my place, and hold them when NBC rejects their screenplay or only five of their paintings sell at their gallery. If that’s you, I’m in your corner.
By now, I’ve written hundreds of articles and stories and poems (maybe thousands?) and I’ve spoken for various conferences on writing, culture creating, neighborhood development, and virtue ethics.
I’m hard at work on what will be my first published novel, but I’m also quite dangerous with a nail gun. Ask me about the squirrel sometime.